By GotDesign
O LORD, how many are my foes!
How many rise up against me!
Many are saying of me,
"God will not deliver him."

Above are the opening lines from Psalm 3 and they are an accurate reflection of how I feel at the moment. I find myself in a position that I was in not even a year ago -- out of work and not sure where to go. Today, I was cut loose from my job and I feel horrible. I was not released for any specific cause, but this does little to assuage my fears and guilt.

My fears are that I will not be able to find a job that will provide for my wife and I. My fears tell me that I will be living over a steam grate this winter somewhere in downtown Louisville. My fears would have me break down and live in shadows and doubt.

My guilt says that I didn't do enough to achieve the goals that were set before me. My guilt says that I'll never be good enough to make a real career for myself. My guilt tells me that I the best I should expect is a position at McDonald's somewhere.

But you are a shield around me, O LORD;
you bestow glory on me and lift me up my head.
To the LORD I cry aloud,
and he answers me from his holy hill.
I lie down and sleep;
I wake again, because the LORD sustains me.
I will not fear the tens of thousands
drawn up against me on every side.

Arise, O LORD!
Deliver me, O my God!
Strike all my enemies on the jaw;
break the teeth of the wicked.

From the LORD comes deliverance.
May your blessing be on your people.

I have been very careful to include the full text of Psalm 3 here. Including the word, "Selah." Selah means, pause and consider. And while I have been pausing and considering for most of the afternoon, it has been difficult not to consider my fears and my guilt. And while, emotionally, I have struggled with these, I have also lifted up my voice to the LORD. I am confident that the LORD will hear my cry and, as David says in Psalm 40, he will lift me from the mud and mire of my fears and guilt. While I am not confident in myself (at the moment), I am confident that the LORD has wonderful things planned for me and that HE will sustain me.

I would appreciate your prayers for my job search.

UPDATE: Well, I have two interviews scheduled for Tuesday, August 22nd. I'm feeling a little more confident about my prospects. Thanks for your prayers and keep praying.

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