After a great deal of digging and CBS-style fact checking, I’ve discovered the official campaign strategy for the Kerry-Edwards ticket throughout the remainder of the race:
Tell everyone exactly what they want to hear and if we win (oh, please God!), we can blame congress for any promises we decide not to live up to.I found the documents detailing the Kerry-Edwards plan when I found Jimmy Hoffa’s body inside Al Capone’s real vault. But seriously, as far as I can tell, this is actually the Kerry plan. That is the only way to rationally explain Kerry’s contorted statements. I could list the various sides Kerry has taken on either side of any given issue. I counted them once, but ran out of fingers and toes and had to borrow digits from an MBA classmate. He was a little perturbed at being asked to make his toes available in the middle of our Corporate Strategy class. But I figured that despite my desire for accuracy, it was just way too many fingers and toes to be bothered with.